Sunday, December 6, 2009

Ethan, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 1

Last Meal: Roast Beef Sandwich
Thoughts: eh

Monday, November 30, 2009

Ethan, Bristol: 7, Pleasure: 3

Last Meal: Tuna
Thoughts: This was weird, no burn but 5 minutes after another crap which was the usual bristol 2 pleasure 4.:|

Monday, November 23, 2009

Kirk, Bristol: 7, Pleasure: 1

Last Meal: Swedish Meatballs
Thoughts: Very acidic and a god-awful stench that even sent Brian for a spin. I blame the Wild Turkey.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Brian, Bristol: 3, Pleasure: 3

Last Meal: MASHED POTATOES!!!!
Thoughts: Let it marinate too long, so it compacted a bit too much, requiring more pushing than I prefer. Nice swirl streaking in the bowl made up for it, bringing the whole experience up to a 3.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Ethan, Bristol: 3, Pleasure: 5

Last Meal: Peanut Butter Waffle
Thoughts: Perfect,just enough pushing, no stench hallejula.

Brian, Bristol: 5, Pleasure: 5

Last Meal: veggie stir fry
Thoughts: A veritable explosion of poo, very little stayed intact upon exposure to the outside world. Very refreshing though.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Brian, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 5

Last Meal: pasta
Thoughts: Extremely thin variation of type 4. Odd smell, but not altogether unpleasant. Cleanliness factor: high.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Ethan, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 1

Last Meal: Tuna w/ hot pepper
Thoughts: This sucks.I wish i had dumped fire ants.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Ethan , Bristol: 2, Pleasure: 3

Last Meal: Ham Grinder
Thoughts: This one was ok,but to much pushing and minor stench.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Ethan, Bristol: 2, Pleasure: 2

Last Meal: Carrots
Thoughts: This one was bad,it felt like i had a urinary track infection in my hole.No stench however.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Kirk, Bristol: 5, Pleasure: 1

Last Meal: Mini Weiners
Thoughts: Violently ejected with a massive back splash to follow. Stench will surely permeate into bosses office. HUZZAH!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Ethan, Bristol: 2, Pleasure: 1

Last Meal: Chocolate Pancake
Thoughts: Real pleasure -4. So much pushing.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Ethan, Bristol: 5, Pleasure: 3

Last Meal: Turkey pastrami
Thoughts: This one was good,foul stench though.It did pass easily but messy.Glad i had to take a shower after.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Scooter, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 5

Last Meal: Goat cheese and spinach pizza
Thoughts: A tremendous foot and a halfer. Was sweating with anticipation of releasing this beast. The first of many brown packages i drop off today.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Ethan, Bristol: 3, Pleasure: 4

Last Meal: bagel with cream chese
Thoughts: This crap was good with just enough pushing but slightly fowl stench.Also it was kind of messy.

Kirk, Bristol: 3, Pleasure: 4

Last Meal: Chicken and Pasta
Thoughts: Nice density and buoyancy, smelled a little like marshmallows.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Ethan , Bristol: 2, Pleasure: 1

Last Meal: tuna grinder
Thoughts: This crap gave a new meaning to pain.It felt like my but was on fire.I'm glad its all over.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Brian, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 2

Last Meal: spinach omelette
Thoughts: Continuation of earlier. Smallish, maybe 6 inches max, but extremely slow coming out. It took like 15 to 20 seconds of open-sphincter time, which was rather exhausting.

Brian, Bristol: 5, Pleasure: 3

Last Meal: spinach omelette
Thoughts: Pushed out before it was really ready, but it's lunch time and I hate having interruptions.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Kirk, Bristol: 6, Pleasure: 1

Last Meal: Giant Turkey Leg
Thoughts: Messy remnants of culinary over-indulgence at the Big-E. I expected nothing less.

Scooter, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 1

Last Meal: chili
Thoughts: firm but spicey. could smell the chili pepper spices. tough clean up. needed 2 baby wipes to finish off

Brian, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 2

Last Meal: Pasta
Thoughts: Slight burning sensation, with a faint smell of garlic. Otherwise unremarkable.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Kirk, Bristol: 6, Pleasure: 3

Last Meal: Hamburger
Thoughts: Not sure what number to give this. It was neither a solid, nor a liquid. Very "Newtonian-fluid-like". Left a nice smear going down for Brian's viewing enjoyment during his next bathroom visit.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Kirk, Bristol: 3, Pleasure: 5

Last Meal: Chicken Pizza
Thoughts: About as good as taking a crap can get. Minimal pushing, mild stench, neutral ph, one wipe.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Scooter, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 4

Last Meal: Chicken
Thoughts: This one curled like a monkeytail and left streaks as it was being flushed. The bowl looks like a marble cake now.

Kirk, Bristol: 5, Pleasure: 1

Last Meal: Veggie Platter
Thoughts: This crap was actually a miracle of human excrement that I believe spanned ALL the numbers of the Bristol chart end to end. It was...horrible.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Brian, Bristol: 3, Pleasure: 2

Last Meal: Pasta
Thoughts: Not exactly a sausage, smaller and more rabbit-like, but with the consistency of a 3. Strange odor, not necessarily bad, just....different.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Brian, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 1

Last Meal: buffalo chicken sandwich
Thoughts: Sticky mess. Required around a dozen wipes to approach something resembling cleanliness. Massive brown streak waiting for the next person to use the ladies room. Ha!

Brian, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 2

Last Meal: turkey burger
Thoughts: After not pooping yesterday, I think my expectations were too high for this one.

Kirk, Bristol: 6, Pleasure: 2

Last Meal: Salami sandwich
Thoughts: Early turtle head indications put this one at a 4 or a high 3. That all changed in one explosive gush of soupy poopy. Neutral ph.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Kirk, Bristol: 5, Pleasure: 2

Last Meal: Grilled Chicken Salad
Thoughts: "Soft blobs with clear-cut edges (passed easily)". That about covers it.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Kirk, Bristol: 3, Pleasure: 4

Last Meal: Steak
Thoughts: Super dense and sank faster than the titanic. Almost refused to break on the way down the hole, but a second flush did the trick. Clean one-wiper.

Brian, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 5

Last Meal: rice+veggie stir fry
Thoughts: Above average girth. Unknown length, since it went straight down, but I estimate around 16 inches. Upon flush, it dissolved into a thousand tiny pieces. Rather awe-inspiring.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Brian, Bristol: 7, Pleasure: 1

Last Meal: Pasta
Thoughts: Mostly 7, occasionally hinting at a 6, but then returning back to "entirely liquid". Stench is still foul, but not room-clearingly so.

Brian, Bristol: 5, Pleasure: 1

Last Meal: Pasta
Thoughts: Created such a godawful stench that I had to cut it short just to get out of the bathroom.

Kirk, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 3

Last Meal: Tuna Salad
Thoughts: Akin to shitting out a dehydrated kitchen sponge...expanded to twice it's original volume upon contact with the bowl water.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Kirk, Bristol: 3, Pleasure: 4

Last Meal: Chicken Cutlet Sandwich
Thoughts: Required *some* pushing, but not excessive pushing. Just enough to make the final exit more pleasurable. Also pleasingly abrasive.

Brian, Bristol: 3, Pleasure: 3

Last Meal: Turkey sandwich
Thoughts: A bit early, since I have a meeting in a few minutes and didn't want to have to deal with the bowel pressure.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Scooter, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 4

Last Meal: Egg burrito- Prune Juice
Thoughts: BAM!!! number 2 for the day. strange fibrous quality and low stench factor. Prune juice is amazing for softening stool, it is my friend.

Kirk, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 3

Last Meal: Tuna
Thoughts: Came out so smoothly and effortlessly that I had to do a visual just to confirm it was there. Pungent but short-lived stench.

Scooter, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 4

Last Meal: Saugage
Thoughts: Low stench factor, easy out , easy clean.
total time about 30 seconds from start to finish, no time to even grab ant reading material.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Brian, Bristol: 6, Pleasure: 1

Last Meal: chicken
Thoughts: 90% fart, 10% substance. Messy.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Kirk, Bristol: 6, Pleasure: 1

Last Meal: Beef Stew
Thoughts: A small lump of 5 followed by a mysterious pocket of 7...averaging out to a 6. Methinks their sources were unique and equally significant.

Brian, Bristol: 6, Pleasure: 2

Last Meal: Pasta
Thoughts: Goulash goes in, goulash comes out.

Scooter, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 5

Last Meal: steak
Thoughts: solid, dark black , dense 18-24 incher. my system is starting to right itself from the purging of opiate painkillers. Would rather take healthy dumps regularly than manage pain levels due to post op.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Brian, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 5

Last Meal: Soup
Thoughts: While the poo itself was average, it had an amazing curl to it. Almost reminds me of the curly fries from Frankies.

Kirk, Bristol: 6, Pleasure: 1

Last Meal: Grilled Chicken
Thoughts: All that is bad about the human digestive system ejected from my anus in a matter of seconds. Foul stench, multiple wipes.

Scooter, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 5

Last Meal: Pasta
Thoughts: I'm speechless. I have not yearned for crap like this ever in my life. Wistfully anticipating the moment when the sphincter gives that ever so slight twinge that it's ready to play ball. Due to medication I haven't crapped in 6 days. This was truly a moving experience which brought a tear to my eye. I think I heard an angel sing.........

Friday, August 28, 2009

Kirk, Bristol: 5, Pleasure: 2

Last Meal: Chicken Sliders
Thoughts: Messy early morning visitor. Required multiple wipes to achieve desired cleanliness. TP situation approaching critical.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Kirk, Bristol: 6, Pleasure: 2

Last Meal: Capicola Sammich
Thoughts: Overall pretty messy and unsatisfying with a fairly acidic PH and highly foul stench. Better luck tomorrow.

Brian, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 5

Last Meal: Chicken
Thoughts: Slippery 8 incher followed by a 6. I think I'm back on schedule, finally.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Kirk, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 5

Last Meal: Tilapia
Thoughts: New diet is kicking in, made this one ACES! Soft outer coating left a swirly stain going down, nominal stench.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Brian, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 1

Last Meal: sandwich
Thoughts: friggin warehouse people have no respect for my bowels, don't they realize I'm on a very dependable schedule that's now all messed up?

Scooter, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 3

Last Meal: Chicken stir fry
Thoughts: nothing exception about this dump other than the stench factor which was higher than expected. not as firm as I would have liked but easy clean up.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Brian, Bristol: 3, Pleasure: 1

Last Meal: birthday cake?
Thoughts: Held that in all freaking afternoon, and now I'm stuck with heavy, dense, stinky poo that's wedged itself into the toilet and refuses to go down. FML.

Kirk, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 4

Last Meal: Onion Burger
Thoughts: Slid out so easily, it almost felt "pre-lubed". Mild acrid stench made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Scooter, Bristol: 6, Pleasure: 1

Last Meal: Alakan King Crab
Thoughts: ooooofffffffff, where did that come from. emergency 911 dash to the crapper.
came out like old faithful erupting.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Brian, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 3

Last Meal: pork chops
Thoughts: Low 4, almost a 3. Extremely light in color.

Kirk, Bristol: 7, Pleasure: 1

Last Meal: Blackened Chicken
Thoughts: That was weird.

Kirk, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 4

Last Meal: Blackened Chicken
Thoughts: A pleasing early morning turtle head. Effortless and relatively clean with a very mild and almost "agreeable" stench factor.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Brian, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 2

Last Meal: chicken
Thoughts: Long percolation time didn't pay off. Heavy and dense, moderately painful. Medium to high stink factor.

Kirk, Bristol: 3, Pleasure: 4

Last Meal: Salami sandwich
Thoughts: One half pounder followed by a smaller cousin. Overall a really clean and pleasant crap. Mild stench.

Scooter, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 3

Last Meal: Tilapia
Thoughts: Lost some structural integrity when in the water lighty breaking apart. Stench factor high and could smell the spices from last night. no burning up exit though.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Brian, Bristol: 3, Pleasure: 5

Last Meal: Steak
Thoughts: Dense, heavy crap. Not particularly pleasing during the event, but I now feel refreshed and ready to face the afternoon, like a weight has been taken off my shoulders.

Kirk, Bristol: 3, Pleasure: 4

Last Meal: Tuna Salad
Thoughts: 3 egg shaped/sized ploppers. Stunk so bad that my boss came in to complain about it an hour later. Left a small swirl stain on bowl as it went down.

Scooter, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 5

Last Meal: Steak salad
Thoughts: Massive release of bowels. At least 3 pieces that ranged from 6-8 inches each. light brown and low stink factor.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Kirk, Bristol: 2, Pleasure: 1

Last Meal: Chicken Cutlets
Thoughts: Akin to trying to pass a sizable log of Salami, had to stop 4 times to catch my breath. The extra effort made my sore back even worse.

Brian, Bristol: 3, Pleasure: 4

Last Meal: Pasta
Thoughts: Perfect type 3. Moderate stench, so I couldn't give it the proper appreciation that it deserved.

Scooter, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 3

Last Meal: Shrimp stir fry
Thoughts: Uneventful but still riddled with corn from Sunday night. semi-tough clean up.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Kirk, Bristol: 5, Pleasure: 2

Last Meal: Macaroni salad
Thoughts: Left a slightly acidic tinge upon exit, 2 wipes required to restore ideal sphinctoral PH levels.

Brian, Bristol: 5, Pleasure: 4

Last Meal: chicken
Thoughts: Felt like a 4 coming out, but lost all structural integrity upon impact. Two flushes required.

Scooter, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 4

Last Meal: BBQ Chicken and Corn
Thoughts: Well here is the other half that decided to stay put for a while. feeling complete now. a nice 12+ incher complete with corn from last night.

Scooter, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 5

Last Meal: BBQ chicken
Thoughts: No crap the day before so this one itching to get out, dense , sounded like a brick hitting the water. incomplete though with more to follow later hopefully. Stench factor -no bad

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Kirk, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 5

Last Meal: Prime Rib
Thoughts: A perfect stink pickle. I stared at it in awe and felt healthier than I ever have in my life.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Brian, Bristol: 3, Pleasure: 5

Last Meal: cheeseburger
Thoughts: 12 inches, and perfectly straight. Moderately concerned with how this one will flush, since it's in a awkward position, and seems rather solid. (also, I'm writing in the present tense...infer from that what you will.)

Scooter, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 4

Last Meal: Lamb
Thoughts: darker in color than normal and higher stench factor. not buoyant at all, a total sinker.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Kirk, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 4

Last Meal: Veal Parmigiana
Thoughts: The initial sensation of the turtle head suggested this might be more like a 2, but that was just the nub. Remaining 5 inches were much smoother.

Brian, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 3

Last Meal: pasta
Thoughts: Decent poo, rather uneventful.

Scooter, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 3

Last Meal: Dirty Wings
Thoughts: After a one day hiatus of no poop and reheating the left over dirty wings , I felt like I left 30% of my body weight in the bowl. Temperature was hot.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Brian, Bristol: 2, Pleasure: 1

Last Meal: sammich
Thoughts: Very lumpy and 2-like...almost exactly like the reference image. Seemed incomplete, and left me feeling unsatisfied.

Kirk, Bristol: 6, Pleasure: 1

Last Meal: Dirty Buffalo Wings
Thoughts: A burning, liquefied hot wing encore...I knew this morning's bristol 3 was too good to be true. :|

Kirk, Bristol: 3, Pleasure: 4

Last Meal: Dirty Buffalo Wings
Thoughts: 3 egg-sized stinkers. Couldn't get a visual on the first one as it had already sought refuge down the pipe somewhere, very dense.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Kirk, Bristol: 5, Pleasure: 3

Last Meal: Barbecue Chicken Pizza
Thoughts: Kind of just "fell out". About 6 blobs with varying degrees of buoyancy, fairly neutral odor.

Scooter, Bristol: 3, Pleasure: 4

Last Meal: steak
Thoughts: stench factor high, massive U shaped turd. felt like a 2 pounder.

Brian, Bristol: 5, Pleasure: 5

Last Meal: Rice-veggie thing
Thoughts: One sip of coffee...BAM!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Brian, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 4

Last Meal: BBQ chicken pizza
Thoughts: No visual confirmation, but I'd speculate it was 6 or 7 inches that managed to stay in hiding this morning. Underwhelming, obviously, but pleasurable nonetheless.

Kirk, Bristol: 5, Pleasure: 2

Last Meal: Cheese Ravioli
Thoughts: The unpleasantness of the stench was further complicated by the fact that I had problems with the automatic light and had to shit in the dark.

Brian, Bristol: 3, Pleasure: 2

Last Meal: Goulash
Thoughts: Needed some thinking time, so I didn't give it the full percolation that it really needed. Expecting a continuation this afternoon.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Brian, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 3

Last Meal: Turkey sandwich
Thoughts: Pretty much a continuation of this morning's poo...I think I rushed it a bit before.

Kirk, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 2

Last Meal: Chicken Francaise
Thoughts: Slid out so easily and effortlessly that I needed a hasty visual confirmation that anything even came out. 2 wiper.

Brian, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 2

Last Meal: Pancakes!
Thoughts: A bit sticky, requiring extensive cleaning. TP supplies dropped into the red zone with no spare roll, so it was a tense couple of minutes.

Scooter, Bristol: 3, Pleasure: 4

Last Meal: Pasta and meatballs
Thoughts: Best word to describe this is "Thick and Pasty", kinda like heinz ketchup.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Kirk, Bristol: 3, Pleasure: 5

Last Meal: Pork Tenderloin
Thoughts: Visually resembled my last meal almost exactly. Minor stench factor and a nice shade of burnt sienna.

Scooter, Bristol: 2, Pleasure: 3

Last Meal: Steak and Shrimp
Thoughts: Strange consistency , very dense and thick. Required more effort than normal to expel, probably a result of recent pain killer medications.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Kirk, Bristol: 3, Pleasure: 4

Last Meal: General Tso Chicken
Thoughts: Overall pretty standard. Smelled like cheetos which was strange.

Brian, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 3

Last Meal: pasta
Thoughts: Stink factor: excessive. First update from shrike!

Friday, August 7, 2009

Brian, Bristol: 7, Pleasure: 1

Last Meal:
Thoughts: Fuck this, I'm going home.

Brian, Bristol: 7, Pleasure: 1

Last Meal:
Thoughts: Ugh...just popped my 7 cherry.

Kirk, Bristol: 3, Pleasure: 5

Last Meal: Burger King Angry Chicken Sandwich
Thoughts: Resembled a large Cuban cigar and was amazingly almost perfectly neutrally buoyant. Mild to no stench.

Brian, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 5

Last Meal: Turkey burger
Thoughts: Rather uneventful. Which, considering my gastrointestinal problems the past couple weeks, is awesome.

Scooter, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 5

Last Meal: Sushi
Thoughts: A masterpiece of fecal proportion. Solid 16 inch log, girthy and appropriate color. Stench factor reduced by quick courtesy flush.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Scooter, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 5

Last Meal: Spinach and tomatoe omlette
Thoughts: That sat in the chamber longer than I would have liked but well worth it. Like a fine red wine, the longer you wait the better it is.

Brian, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 2

Thoughts: While the poo itself was rather enjoyable, the lingering stench from Kirk made it wholly unpleasant.

Kirk, Bristol: 6, Pleasure: 1

Thoughts: Liquid fire, burned on contact...estimated PH of 3. Makes me wish there was a shower at work. Gonna be a long day.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Scooter, Bristol: 7, Pleasure: 1

Thoughts: Post Hockey, Heat exhaustion bowel explosion. Thank god i had to take a shower anyway.

Kirk, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 4

Thoughts: A rare but satisfying mid evening shit. Nice clean one wiper.

Brian, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 2

Thoughts: Pretty healthy 4, but it required a bit more pushing than I usually like.

Scooter, Bristol: 4, Pleasure: 5

Thoughts: Been waiting all morning for that one to finish brewing. Multiple 7-8 inch logs , thick as a brick. Baby wipes = fresh as a daisy.

Kirk, Bristol: 6, Pleasure: 1

Thoughts: Need a pleasure rating of "-1" for this...only because I had to see the remnants of Brian's 5er from last night before I even started.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Brian, Bristol: 5, Pleasure: 4

Thoughts: Parting shot before leaving work, left hundreds of little floating particles after flushing.

Kirk, Bristol: 5, Pleasure: 3

Thoughts: Akin to passing a semi-cylindrical kitchen sponge.